If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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