I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
