the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
