oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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