I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
