That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
