Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
