Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
