Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
