Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
