Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
