i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
