How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
