Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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