it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
