The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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