But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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