I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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