I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My pussy is not your playground.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
