I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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