Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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