Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
