Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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