the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
