Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
