Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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