He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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