Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
