I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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