You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
