did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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