you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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