it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
