Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
