Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
