ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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