im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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