So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I deserve this hangover.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
