White coat. Heels.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
