nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
