We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
