my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
