? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
