I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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