you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
