Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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