so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
