I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
