So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
