How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
