i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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